Today I went out with my boyfriend, and I was pessimistic that it would be boring, but today turned out to a very nice day. I was really touched when I told my boyfriend that I was ready for me to come pick me up, and he texted me and said he was already here. Apparently, he was waiting in the car in front of my house all along. I was touched, and I felt bad for making him wait a long time. These little things that my boyfriend does really makes me feel happy inside. Then he took me to Bath and Body Work at Round Rock, so I can travel size hand sanitizers. While we were there, one of the employee there used to go to my middle school. We were in the same PE class. She recognized me too, but I jokingly told her I'm not who she was referring to. My boyfriend and I bought bubble tea and Chick-fil-a to bring home to eat. Once we got home, I was the nice honey and I did my boyfriend without him asking me to. I wanted my boyfriend to realize that I am marriage material, and realize that I can take care of the family, no matter how spoil I am.
My boyfriend and I discussed our summer vacation plan today, and I knew I was stressing out my boyfriend once more. I wanted to visit both Colorado and Arizona this June for my birthday, and for hopeful proposal celebration. My boyfriend wanted to only visit one of those places because he was afraid it will be over his budget. I assured him that I can pay for the airfare and he can pay for the hotel, which is much cheaper. I did not want to stress out my boyfriend because I know that he will shut down on me, and he will eventually be sad. Going on vacation is supposed to be a fun time, not a stress consuming time. I guess, we can go to only one place, but I've been planning to visit north states that I can visualize it. I just wished my boyfriend shared the same interest of traveling like me, and if only I had a better income, then I sponsor the trip for my boyfriend.
Today, I wanted to ask my boyfriend if he will propose to me this summer, as I hope, but I can tell that I was going to annoy him even more, so I didn't. I really wanted to have some clue as to whether or not he will propose to me for my birthday because I'm so scared and nervous that he won't. If I go on believing that he will, then when the day comes and he doesn't, I'll be extremely sad and heartbroken once more. I want to tell myself that no matter what, I have to be strong, and be happy, and be independent. Deep inside, I am really afraid that he won't propose to me because it happened so many times when I expect it to happen,it didn't. I trued to not think about it, but the days are counting closer to my birthday. I pray that this time will actually happen because I don't want to wait any longer. I know that my boyfriend is worried about money, but I can help him. Every month now, I tried to put in as much money as I can into my savings account for our future. A part of me is happy that my birthday is drawing near because we can go on the vacation. Then a part of me is scared because I don't know if he will propose to me. I don't know if I will be happy on the trip or if I'll be heartbroken and sad. I hope my boyfriend will realize that my love for him is true, and that he won't be nervous about marriage in any aspects. Every time he is sad or he worries, then I feel sad and ashamed of myself. Well,today has been a long night. Good night!!
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